tv Gutfeld FOX News April 11, 2021 1:00am-2:00am PDT
thank you for watching. i am jeanine pirro advocating for truth, justice and see you hours on fox and friends. enjoy gutfeld. >> been free to follow your heart. ♪ live free ♪ ♪ beat surrounds you ♪ ♪ the world astounds you each time you look at a star ♪ [bad singing] i can't sing very well but i'm furry and sexy as he will.
[applause] >> greg: so hunter biden is out pumping his new memoir like the stock he owns in buries ma. i could have said a dead hooker's chess but that would have been too far. last night he went on kimmel. doing a show is like inhaling a crack pipe, it's like sipping on a temple through a twizzler. hunter says he doesn't remember anything about the lop top. >> i really don't know and the fact is, it's a red herring. >> i think i'm within my rights to question anything that comes from the desk of rudy giuliani.
>> greg: it's a red herring which, by the way is not a sex act involving a fish. you never know with hunter. he also defended his spot on the burisma board. >> i had an expertise in corporate governance. i was asked to serve on the board and i was a lawyer, which is how i was first approached. however, what i didn't take into account was the way in which they would use the perception against my dad. and for that, i wouldn't do it again. >> greg: it's see it's about bad optics, now hunter was creating financial windfalls for daddy through china or in ukraine as his dad lobbied. that's corruption on an international scale, especially when his own experience producing energy is staying up for four days on a bender. the strategy here is to humanize the guy to protect his dad but
if you read hunter's bio, sex, drugs and trashing hotel rooms has never been less appealing. however, it's his business. i get it. we all know addicts. some of us might have been one. kat, but there is addiction, and then there is being a dick. but we aren't here to make fun of hunter for as withing around in a jack strap. who haven't done that, or posting amateur explicit porn videos online and trust me, they are amateur and disappointing. it's really about how the story was covered or buried before the election. when "the new york post" first published their piece on hunter's laptop, you know what happened? the media and the democrats came together like the rockettes at christmas. suppress. suppress. suppress. this was a story so juicy it could come with garlic potatoes and a side salad yet the media suddenly lost their appetite. you had twitter banning the
story. claiming it was russian disinformation and it worked. the story about how compromised joe was -- it's merely the frosting on a corrupt cake and it's really nothing to laugh at but when you're doing most of the victimizing, hunter isn't some hard luck kid. he's a grown mill aged man with kids and no one is holding him to account. men and women alike face temptation from sex, drugs and food and understand the benefits from restraints. not those restraints, kat but controlling urges is something we all deal with in order to appreciate the greater goal, which is living a listening and very boring life. what most people don't have are connections to deep we can escape the consequences and learn nothing from it. hunter gives all libertarians a really bad name. not everyone who does drugs is a
maniac or anyone who pays for sex is a pervert, trust me, and not everyone who tries to make deals on behalf of his dad when the company that wants to destroy sit a crook. maybe i got that one wrong. >> welcome to "gutfeld." talk trash. [cheers and applause] frankly way more helpful, retired marine corps -- kelly jones. >> he -- [applause] broken more hearts than romantic fever, on fox nation, kat.
sonny, welcome to the show. it's been like forever. >> thank you so much for having me back. >> greg: i missed you. you're supposed to say i missed you, too. >> i don't. [laughter] >> i really missed sonny. >> a new record for the show falling apart. >> greg: all right. so if hunter was anybody else but hunter, wouldn't he already be in jail? >> of course. it's like asking if hillary clinton was anybody but hillary clinton would she be in jail? you know, i'm not above a crack head joke, you know what i'm saying. but we're at kind of a tipping point in our country where we have to decide whether we want the sexy fun stories, where we're reactive or proactive in
what's coming. we're about to have a lot of hunter bidens and a lot of george floyds because of what's happening at the board. the amount of drugs that are coming in. the cities that have locked down. the economies that have been destroyed. lives who have been uprooted. all of that is going to come to a head and when people realize they aren't able to deal with it as rational human beings they are going to go for substitutes to cope with that pain. that's what we're coming up on. >> greg: why did they name you sonnie? >> and -- >> greg: the most upbeat response i have ever heard. >> it is us understanding what's coming as opposed to having them scare us to death with their solutions. if we're wide open to what's happening and what's coming, we can be -- we don't need hunter to be responsible.
we need to be responsible. >> greg: that's a really great point. [applause] it's like a silver lining to this story. and i worry about saying that because hunter might snort it. when you look at his extensive resume. he's been on all these boards, he was a lawyer, he might be the most successful crack head ever. >> there are some rock stars that might give him a run for his money. >> greg: maybe i'm just jealous that he could do everything. >> how do you give crack heads a bad name. how do you ruin the image of drug addicts? we live in a country that actually in the last few years has brought empathy toward addiction. i hate to tell you, we're all addicted to something. >> certainly not. >> look at your arms. >> greg: what are you addicted to? >> [laughter] [applause] with hunter, here's the problem. being an addict is the least
interesting part about the hunter biden story. it's the only part that makes sense. your dad is rich and famous and you become an addict. it's how he's treated by everyone else. in this country you can do one of two things. you can go to war, lose your friends, lose your legs or become a rich crack addict and you'll get the same amount of empathy. listen, he's not a hero. he's not someone who went through troubling times. there isn't a person in this room who hasn't survived death in your family or bankruptcy or divorce or cancer. that's not an out. we don't feel sorry for him. we want him to get better and then we want him to go to jail. [applause] >> again, i want to commend you on your fashion choices. >> thank you. thank you so much. i appreciate you writing jokes before you even know what i'm wearing. >> we already knew what you were wearing. >> how is that it hunter has a
drug problem but he still addresses better -- i want to bring this up. everybody is right. it's not about the drugs. in fact, if you focus on the blow and the hookers you forget about the corruption. it's that bigger story about, you know, working out a deal with china, for hunter's dad. that's like the story. the whole thing is disgusting. i mean, hunter bide isn't the poster boy for the modern democrat party. that's just it. just rotten at the core and everybody is going to pretend like it's not. you have problems. sorry. he has failed the whole time. he gets, what, kicked out of the military for a drug problem. now you're on the board of amtrak, buddy. like how does that happen? >> i lost both legs. >> he does love rails. >> greg: it's hard to write one liners about hunter. he's going to do all of them. but like, it's like that show
"intervention." but at the end of "intervention," when everybody meets the poor soul in the hotel room, everyone is pretending it's okay. >> greg: i loved "intervention," kat, didn't you? >> yes, of course. you're like, i'm fine. >> greg: i'm not snorting window cleaner. >> are you talking about a show or an experience? >> greg: a show. >> look, i wish that whenever joe biden talks about the compassion for hunter, people would press him on, okay what about these hundreds of thousands of people who are lounged right now, who are nonviolent drug offenders, a lot of them because of your policies. in 1990, he was pushing for a bill to limit employment options if you ever had been convicted of a drug offense. and that was one of dozens of pieces of legislation that he had introduced and none of them had the thesis of these people deserve compassion and the ability to better themselves but it's only because he's the son of a president.
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who admit charisma like flat ulence from a cattle farm. when mcconaughey makes a hurricane -- di say that right? it shows you i know nothing about wrestling. anyway, he kind of remind me of lincoln. maybe the best politician is someone who hasn't been corrupted by the system. someone who has had a private sector job even if it's pretend. the animal who isn't it in for the prestige or the interns. i would rather they show rich and powerful than leave that way. even air force was a step down. unlike joe bide wherein air force one was a step up and a step down. a step up and a step down. jenner is said to be exploring a run for california governor. with gavin newman facing a
recall, a challenge from jenner, a republican, could prove as deadly as bumming a ride from tiger woods. jenner has been better hair and could still beat gavin in the 440 wearing a father of louie batons. the last time california recalled someone, it was arnold. and talk about a first, they would probably put her on a wheaties box. [applause] >> joey, i tried to get you to run for office. do you remember that? >> no, i forgot all about that. you don't need me in office. number one, i would have to survive the internet. i was in the marines for eight years. >> greg: are you sort of scared of running for office? >> bombs are honest. i know what they are in it for and what they won out of it and they are honestly trying to deceive me. politicians, nothing there. what makes celebs such good, like passions for politicians is
that we know they can fly to our face and make us believe it. with polices, they are trying to pretend they aren't. it's not that what he said offended you, is that he was willing to say it. >> greg: also. it seems like trump would almost point to the politicians and go, what is with this guy? that was his whole thing, from when he started, it was like, forget about me. i'm not perfect. i'm an arrogant, obnoxious tv host but those guys, and everybody was like, finally somebody is saying those guys and he's running against them. >> it's happening now. it's like deja vu all over again. >> greg: i never heard that phrase. >> did you come up with that yourself? >> greg: i did. it's deja vu all over again. >> did you come up with that yourself? >> i did. >> kat left it there. >> i love the idea of
celebrities running for public office. this is great because they think they know who they are doing. they are so wrapped up in their own bs and surrounded by people telling them they are wonderful, and they think they know hollywood is horrible and it doesn't get worse. it does. politics is so much worse. they chew these people up and they spit them out. they ruined arnold. >> greg: that's true. he was never the same. >> now he's making youtube videos talking to a pony. sounds like trump. it's amazing. after he was governor he just couldn't act anymore. it was over. they broke him. they crushed him up into tiny bits. the joke was he could never act, michael, but that was okay. >> he played a fantastic robot and as a guy who is half robot, he played a fantastic robot. >> jingle all the way was the best. >> greg: where are we going with this, kat? who would you like to see run
for office. >> missy elliott. >> look -- i think about it, in terms of my principles, i think it's dangerous, this whole call to personality, but i also know if missy elliott would run for office i would quit my job and follow her and try to get, and then maybe come on the air to like only defend everything she did or said which goes back to why that's wrong and you've got to be careful. i could never imagine saying anything about about missy elliott. >> i want to see her xwap commercials. >> greg: maybe one day. sonnie, the person who introduced you to me, he had a famous saying, politics downstream from culture, right? and that's the problem with the republican party. there is not a lot of culture there. >> no. they have no culture. they just, you know, any time it comes nigh where near, they send it far away. but the thing about why politicians, i mean, why nonpoliticians are running for
political spots is because politicians suck so bad. >> if you have people that don't know policy, that don't know context, history, and don't understand anything about the current political standing, they just want to jump in and rejudge at a time talking points that's what america is tired of. and i think if you look at a lot of what's going on with the black voting rights and stuff, democrats are saying, oh, that their voters are being suppressed. no, we just don't believe you anymore. you can't get up to want to register anymore. vote. you can't make us buy your lies anymore. so you want to get a cultural icon that's better at selling them than you are. but they are going to hire the same consultant. they are going to hire the same pr firms and push the same bs, and that's what i learned from trump. if you want to be president then you're too crazy to be
president. i think you have to want to be the president but you have to want to learn something. like people are so at peace with being idiots. that's the part to me that i can't get passed. how happy people are being dumb. >> we should just draft our president. like we draft people into war. i know you don't want to but we're going to make you be president. does anybody remember the phone book party? >> greg: no. >> there was an experiment where most americans were polled, it was like deja vu all over again. most americans, back when you had a phone book, would vote for either democrat or republican but they randomly chose them from the phone book. >> greg: i move that. we've got to move on. our ombudsman, for the
this time slot on fox news tonight. a totally hundred percent accurate and it has to be because right now we're going to find out if there is anything we got wrong this week on the show. for that we go to our show's ombudsman. steve has been at home, social distancing, watching every episode of our show this week and he's here to correct us on any mistakes that the panelists have made. obviously, i know i didn't make any but i'm sure kat did. it's really getting kind of painful and embarrassing. steve, how did we do in our first week? >> well, greg, not surprising, you were the biggest offender on monday. you ended your show with a quote from the late great freddie mercury. mike can, we roll that tape? [applause] is this the real world or is this just fantasy? an escape from reality. open your eyes. >> keep going. keep going. >> i can't remember the rest. >> that was pretty good.
>> easy come, easy go. >> you can't remember the rest. you couldn't remember the first, greg. you screwed up the first line. you said is this the real world? that's a tv show on m-tv when, in fact, lyric is, is this the real-life? >> greg: steve, is that what you earnings call ombudsing, that's what we're paying you to do, one word, you're embarrassing. >> i got a lot of angry letters. [laughter] >> greg: i'll give you an angry letter. >> freddie mercury, latest state. by the way, i love -- you know what? queen is a poor man's fix. >> oh. [laughter] >> sticks is a poor man's -- i'm
shutting down my email after that. >> i don't even know where i am. >> yes, steve jr. . >> i know that one. >> did you say alabama? >> it's a state. that's all i've got. graovac grime going to correct kat now. on tuesday you had some very strong words about theme parks and the pandemic. roll it, big mike. >> have you ever been to a theme park? you know, you've got to click -- brushing your teeth doesn't reduce your risk of covid but you should still do it. you can still get a cold or the flu or dutch a buger at my house. >> i'm so confused. >> i thought you made good sense there but i did a little research about good oral hygiene can, and how it relates to covid and in march, researchers at rutgers said, yes, two types of
mouthwash, including listerine -- >> march, 2020, people were saying a lot of stuff. people were washing their groceries. >> you're saying, okay, the mouthwash reduced covid transmission. >> that's also not brushing your teeth. >> greg: it really does kill germs in the mouth. >> it says on the bottle it's not meant to be a replacement for brushing. >> steve, a little goes a long way. >> this was my job. six years ago. >> good luck. >> greg: what else have you got there, steve? you're 0-2. >> okay. greg, on monday, you also had some ideas about how to use the third amendment to help amazon drivers. roll the tape. >> because i have solutions, all the time, it was the third
amendment kayleigh mcenany, that required the -- if you're a driver for amazon or u.p.s., the people in the community are obliged to let you guys -- let them use your rest room. [nervous laugh] just like the third amendment. >> it's not a good solution. last time the third amendment was used people hat outhouses, which are less sanitary. >> greg: not at my house. i still have a chamber pot. >> this is a law and order episode waiting to happen. that's what this is. >> someone is going to do it and then you get sued. >> greg: what's the problem, steve? >> the problem is, i think it's great that you're refersing the third amendment, by the way, greg. everybody talks about the first and the second but nobody talks about the third. >> you know what the third is?
the jan brady of amendments. >> it certainly is. thank you, loftus. he's laughing but i tell you, michael, a lot of people gave you grief because you said it's deja vu all over again. a quote that most people attribute to yogi berra but he told the "new york times" he never said it. so -- because yogi berra had early onset of dementia and can't remember his own quotes, i think -- >> they have it on video from back in 1938. >> if you're going to believe him you have to believe hunter because both of them didn't know what was going on. >> never did it. never said it. >> but the bigger thing is that you're still not an ombudsman because he never mentioned yogi berra. >> i'm defending him. >> you know what? i appreciate that and i celebrate you. >> all right. all right. all right. what else have you got? i'm running out of time. >> are you going to be back next
>> greg: is there such a thing as free will? and if so why haven't joe biden tried to attack it? it's at the foundation of our republic that we have the freedom to pursue our own happiness but do we really? scientists have argued free will is an illusion. a researcher named benjamin said that electrical activity in the brain occurs before you make a conscious decision. for example, when you move your hand away where a hot stove your brain has already set your hand
in motion before you're aware of your own decision and if you're still pressing your hand on the stove five minutes later you've got other problems. so are we in charge of our own decisions or are we at the mercy of biology, or a conclave of elves working for big fluoride? and did i write that sentence that i just said or did my brain already write it? or to put it another way, it's not michael's fault that he wore that terrible jacket. his brain already chose it for him before he was on aware that the jacket and the shirt were ugly. bottom line, free will has been debated by some of the world's brightest minds for centuries so tonight we're going to settle it in 5:32 in a new segment i'm calling -- >> it's settled, then. >> let's get this over with, kat. here's how it works and we figure out this problem in five minutes. free will or no free will? >> i obviously don't know, okay.
listen, because you're asking, you're asking like, was i predestined to work with greg gutfeld? i'm not one of these people that's like, i'm so smart and you're not. i'm a dumb, you know, bag of meat with bones in it. how am i supposed to know. >> i order that every friday night. >> smartest woman on the set. >> there you go. >> we got it. >> when you start talking i'm going to say the same thing about you. solid shoe compliment on the way in here so you know you have my respect. >> greg: this is going strangly weird. joey. >> i was mean to kat earlier and i was trying to make up for it. >> i didn't even notice. >> i have never been mean to you. >> greg: because i'm the host of the party.
anyway, joey, free will, no free will, and explain. we've not solved this problem. >> i feel grossly underprepared because i thought we were going to be debating a terrible 1990s movie about a well. i did not read. listen, there is free will. if there wasn't free will -- come on. i'm bombing it tonight, and about bombs, if there wasn't free will, you would never walk down on a bomb, you would never be a police officer or fireman. hell, you wouldn't be a teacher, right? if you couldn't train yourself to do what your instincts is telling you is probably not a good thing, like walking into a classroom full of raging 10-year-olds but you decide for yourself it's worth that risk to your body, your mind, to go do that thing that's going to hurt you, but make the world a better place. not you. >> but if you had free will would you have wore brown shoes
and khakis? did you make -- i think no. >> i'm loving this. i'm loving this attack from both sides. i'll use the power of celebrity. america. defends me. go to twitter and let these dudes know what you think of this stunning ensemble. >> greg: what is your assessment of free will? >> we used to have free will. it's being eliminated. we used to have a ton of it, choose going over evil and we're being putting into this weirder and weirder lab maze. >> please, take this away from me. i can't take it. >> we're in a cage and they just keep telling us to chase the nasty cheese and be happy we're even alive and i say, no greg
gutfeld. >> you can insult me and my outfits, try to take away my free will. >> the outfits are not your fault. >> greg: we've got 2:15 left. and i look to you. >> i gave up my free will when i got married and i had a kid. like that eliminates your free will because i'm going to make sure my husband is taken care of before myself. i'm going to make sure my child is taken care of before myself so that limits your free will, even though i'm choosing to do it. i don't like the crap that they make me do. so i'm not doing something i don't want to do because i want to make sure that they are okay. so i don't think that that's classical free will. but it is what i am willing to do in my position. and i thought it could get no worse until i got into politics and started messing with republicans. and then i realized -- this whole thing about free will, because you believe in principles, and because you
believe in ideas, doesn't necessarily mean you like the people that also say they have different ideas. >> greg: you don't have to like them. >> i would say you still have it because i'm still trying with republicans but when i am comes to personal things like my family, i gave it up and i'm glad i did. >> greg: i'm going to say what influences your decisions are your genes, society you're in, your personality traits. the little neurons and atoms that make you up. but it doesn't matter because, it's not going to change what you do, right? . >> i feel like i've done plenty of things that weren't my fault. >> greg: okay. that's what scares people. what happens to the concept of punish. if there is no free will. if hunter biden says this is not my fault he can't be punished but the fact that his punish. goes into that giants soup that contributes to your free will. >> not if you have the
government sending out counselors instead of police officers so you eliminate the need for that if you're sending out social workers instead of actual enforcement for things gone bad. if you're going to seconds out someone who is going to tell people that it's not their fault, that it's okay, it's society's fault, then you're going to -- the consequences aren't going to be a question anymore. where is free will in that aspect. >> but i agree, without free will nothing is your fault. >> greg: it's
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>> greg: time once again for viewer mail. it's the first time in the history of television a segment like this has been attempted. i'm kind of scared. these are directed to everyone here on the panel including myself. okay. here we go. the first letter, let's see is from rob 15666. [in unison -- oh] >> greg: how would you rate and list your wilderness survival skills. sonnie? >> everybody will be surprised but i'm trying to go back to
those skills. i grew up on a farm cutting the heads off of a chicken. like i grew up picking fresh vegetables off of the vine. we literally walked around with salt shakers in our pocket like a part of our clothing attire. so i very much have a lot of skills as far as hunting, farming, fishing, and i cannot wait for the day that i can actually get back to that reality as my life. >> greg: no one ever asks what you do with the heads. everybody is cutting heads off chickens. >> i have uncles that will eat them. >> i'm going to go with sonnie. >> we're very conscious about these things whether it's squirrels, possum, they eat them. that's something i've learned. >> greg: i hate it when i get that confused, especially on a
date. >> survival skills. i'm talking like naked and afraid. i'm dead on day four. dead on day four. >> it depend, though, can people hear me cry? >> all alone. >> all alone, i couldn't make it even if i was in an apartment. >> that's true. >> would you not believe this but one of my favorite hobbies is killing animals and eating them. >> greg: i've heard. >> i take a lot of satisfaction in that. listen, survival, being poor, right? i was poor for a long time. i know how to be poor. i know how to be happy poor. there is food out there, go get it. >> greg: so you're saying when you don't have any monday you go out into your neighborhood and shoot a dog. >> there is poor and then there is hunting. >> like i've been poor. i was never spearing rats in the street. >> if you would like to learn we
can do a tv show out of it. >> greg: not only would i not survive but i would take everybody with me. i'm like the person that convince everybody in the tugboat to go in the wrong direction. >> i'm the one like what is a useful skill and where can we put you? >> i'll do whatever you tell me to do. >> and that's it as long as you're willing to participate, then you have a place but a whole bunch of american these days don't want to participate, and they would be very alone. >> greg: sonnie, enough from you. ava marie asks, what was your favorite memory from high school, loftus, we were talking about when you were in high school in the 1970s. >> back in 1942. >> no, i'm being very sincere here. i was given a car by a buddy of mine and he asked, have you heard of this band called the clash. what are you talking about? no, i haven't. he put in london calling, and
literally changed my life. we played hooky for the rest of the day. london calling. >> greg: you guys have been married for how many years? >> since 1942. >> greg: kat? >> probably the guy who decorated my hallway, and probably the worst thing when he said he didn't see me as a girl. highs and lows, i would probably have to say when it was over, my favorite. he did. >> greg: super cheesy, my last football game. i wish every kid could play a team sport. like we won three football games in four years of playing. when you're bad at something and you're still putting your heart and soul into it there are other victories and lessons to be learned. nobody gave us a trophy and said, you're okay, no, they
said, you suck, get better. >> greg: i don't know, i disagree with that i think all team sports are bad because basically think about football especially. why is there a second string and why is there a third string? so the first string can practice goodness you all week. i know that because i was third string. great, i'm on a team. i'm on a team. no, you're only there because there are better people who need to run over you. last word, sonnie. >> my best memory of school was marching in the band and only eclipse when the teacher told me i would get an f and i got an a and i laughed at her on the way out. that was my favorite moment. >> greg: my favorite moment, leaving high school. we'll be back after this.
♪["i'll be seeing you" by billie holiday] ♪ i'll be seeing you ♪ ♪ in all the old familiar places ♪ [doorbell] ♪ in all the old familiar places ♪ ♪ in all the old familiar places ♪ ♪ that this heart of mine embraces ♪ ♪ all day through ♪ >> greg: all right, all right, all right. before we go we have time for a quick reminder that --
>> carnivals are for jerks. >> carnivals are for jerks. >> someone has been in the recycling bin but i'm not sure who has done it. i can't tell who has been in the recycling bin. >> who do you think has been in the recycling bin? maybe you have. >> oh, i see you're going to hide in your kennel, are you? carnivals are jerks. carnivals are jerks. >> greg: the best part of that was the british accent. >> everything is funny with a british accent. i should have been using one all night. >> greg: it wouldn't have helped. that is it for us. thank you.
[applause] >> joey joe. michael and his jacket. kat, and our wonderful studio audience. shannon bream "life, liberty & levin." [♪♪♪] dan: welcome to "watters' world." number for jesse tonight. here is point one. you have to adopt the walensky rules. he wasn't one of the good guys i think we know that. but this rules for organizing worked. if we don't adopt them we'll be overrun by them. he can take back narrative